Fireproof

Well, I did it. I watched the movie Fireproof. You know it, right? It's that Christian movie made by that church down in the south somewhere. Oh, and it stars Kirk Cameron, hot off his hit roll as Mike Seaver in Growing Pains.

I'll say it - it wasn't that bad. It was actually a lot better than I thought going into it. As a guy who's been in the church and seen some of the garbage they try to pass off as "good", I think I have some room to speak.

I guess I should define "wasn't that bad". Ever watched a Lifetime movie? Well, imagine a Lifetime movie with some Christian stuff in it and you've got yourself Fireproof.

There were a few scenes that made me go "ugh!". When Kirk sits down on the couch to get some fast food, what kind do you think he gets? Right - Chic-fil-A, the place for Christians on the go to get a chicken sandwich (except on Sundays!). Don't get me wrong, I love me some Chic-fil-A, they just came out with a spicy chicken sandwich and might I say, it's the cat's pajamas.

The other "ugh" part was when (spoiler alert, like you care) Kirk finds out that another man is wooing his lady. In a fit of rage, he gets into his truck and rushes off to the hospital where the guy works. He busts in the door, looking for this home wrecker with a look that can only be described as "bout to open a can of whoop ass!" He finds the guys office, goes in, and tells the guy that "Hey, I just wanna let you know you've got competition!" . . . what? I thought for sure he was going to beat the crap out of that guy from here to Mecca, but no dice. Just a rowdy alert to her gentlemen suitor that he's got some competition. . . what a let down.

The other thing that kind of annoys me is that when the movie is over, there is no conflict that is left unresolved. Marriage is fixed, Oedipus Complex resolved, car fixed, dirty floors cleaned, and the cat and the dog get married. I think partly, I'm jaded by new movies where it's always a tragedy of some sort where the main character gets shot by gang members at the end or two star-crossed lovers die by ingesting poison. I just would have liked a little unresolved conflict.

Aside from those little pet peeves, I think the movie did its job of telling the story it wanted to tell. Again, we ain't talkin' Shakespeare here, just a story about a guy finding God and saving his marriage. What surprised me was that it wasn't a straight forward "life sucks, you're wife is leaving, you find God, marriage instantly gets better and life is good". I'd say the conversion happens at about 1/3 of the movie and the rest of the movie is him dealing with the issues of his broken marriage and cheatin' wife, only with his newly found faith.

Finally, if you're not Christian, skip it. This is definitely a movie made by Christians for a Christian audience. There are Christian themes that you're just not going to get and it's going to make the movie that much more Lifetimey. I wish it was different but I just don't think it is. Actually, if any non-believers would like to contact me with their review, I'd love to hear it.

Rev.

ps - Man, I've missed writing.